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Deep inhale, long exhale.

With each breath, my heart sinks deeper and deeper. The emptiness that filled my body in the single stalled bathroom at 7:37 p.m continues to be trapped in my mind. The air was stale and my body was numb. Each nerve ending was tingling while I was gasping for air. In the far left corner, I sank to the white bathroom floor. Red was all I saw and emptiness was what I had succumbed to. I knew what had been physically lost and realized I was the only one to blame. What-ifs were frantically being crossed and examined while red was still all I saw and a heart that was disintegrating. Unknowing how to process the situation, I turned the handle of the door and locked the secret deep inside.

My heart aches for that loss. My heart suffers a new pain and caves deeper into the cold, dark hole. Breathing becomes unstable, the right hand sweeps over my chest kneading firmly over my heart. My left arm begins to loose full movement and my stomach becomes uncooperative. Breathing becomes unstable. Sharp, shallow breaths follow the memories of my yesterdays.


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